valentine

The boy and I just broke up. He'd been a twat to me all weekend, and then today he shouted at me that I'm a "stupid fuck with no common sense" because I asked him how he had a train ticket (he said he had one but I was confused because I knew he didn't). I literally just walked straight out the station and went home without saying a word, and he texted me apologising and asking if we can still be friends. I'm not that desperate for friends, thanks.

You know the saddest thing? I put up with it all weekend and forgave him at first because deep down I don't feel like I deserve any better than that. I don't really believe I'll get anything better than that. And the part of me that is so filled with self hatred enjoys seeing me get treated like that.

I suppose I should be happy that whatever self respect I have won out in the end.