happy 2009

Apologies for completely neglecting this journal over the last week. The main reason has been the simple fact that for once I've been out actually enjoying my life as opposed to wallowing and overanalysing it.

New Years Eve was a really good night for once. I usually hate New Years - there's so much pressure to have fun and I never actually end up enjoying myself. Sometimes being at a party or club surrounded by people is when I feel most alone. But I ended up having so much fun - I just wish I could feel that alive all the time.

I also have a new boy on the scene. I actually met him online, but we just clicked instantly and got on so well we decided to meet in real life, which we did last night. He's not my normal type at all, which I think is a good thing. He's outgoing and confident and witty, and around him I feel like I can be those things too. I don't feel shy and depressed and insecure, and although I doubt it'll be anything serious I'm really enjoying just having fun for once. I am severely lacking in fun in my life. I'm seeing him again tomorrow, which I'm really looking forward to, and then on Sunday I'm off back to uni. I really, really don't want to go back, which is funny because it used to be the exact opposite. I used to get so depressed being at home and count down the days til I could go back to uni, I suppose I'm just feeling the weight of all the work I've got to do now I'm in my final year. But I don't want to think about that right now, I just want to enjoy this brief burst of happiness while it lasts.