the future

Things still aren't improving. I'm still wanting to sleep all the time, I still have no desire to eat, things still seem hopeless.

I'm starting to obsess over the future. When I finish university I want to do an Occupational Therapy MSc, which is going to be a really intensive course. What if I can't do it? What if I can't cope? I'm going to be going back to living with my mum who barely talks to me, and now my sister's moved out I'm going to be pretty much on my own. I've only really got my best friend at home that I can socialise with, and I have so much trouble making friends that there's no guarantees I'll make friends on my course. And similarly, I can't imagine there'll be many opportunities for me to meet guys, so getting a boyfriend will be pretty unlikely. And once I graduate, then what? I pinned all my hopes of happiness on finding a job that I'll love, and I do love occupational therapy, but come on, this is me - I'm never going to be happy at anything I do am I?