Monday 22 December 2008

co-dependency

My best friend is a recovering anorexic bulimic, and she's invited me to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting tomorrow. It should be interesting. It's mainly just so she can share what it's like with me since she's a big fan of the twelve step program and it's been a big part of her recovery (she followed a twelve step program in rehab), but after discussing our co-dependency issues she suggested that if I like the meeting tomorrow we could try going to Co-Dependents Anonymous together. I didn't know such a thing existed, but apparently it does. I didn't even realise I was co-dependent until my friend labelled it as such, but according to the website it seems to fit me pretty well:
  • I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
  • I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
  • I have difficulty making decisions.
  • I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never 'good enough'.
  • I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
  • I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings and behaviour over my own.
  • I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.
  • I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger.
  • I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
  • I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
  • I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
  • I accept sex when I want love.
  • I have to be 'needed' in order to have a relationship with others.

That isn't even the full list, just the ones that apply to me. I always knew I had issues with relationships and needing to feel needed, but it's interesting to be able to give it a name.

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